I made my decision…

I finally made my decision. I do not think I belong here. I believe it is a poor match between my need and the organization’s.
I need a place where I can grow, learn, have the mentor I am seeking for, be a part of team, be an important person in the organization because of my contributions..Oh well, I am sorry to be disappointed again.

Looks like you really can not have everything. From where I used to work, I had the respect of the top management, my 25 staff and the rest of the 300 employees of the company. I have a bright future ahead of me. Unfortunately, although I have all of that I was not learning anything fresh and cutting-edge. Now, in this new environment I am working for I have the complete opposite. I am exposed to tools and technologies I have never used before. I have the freedom to study and learn all of that but I do not have the support I need, nor have a team.

Peter Drucker once wrote that there are three kinds of team.

Baseball team. Each have their fixed positions they never leave. The second baseman never runs to help or assist the pitcher, just like an anaesthesiologist never comes to the aid of surgical doctor or a nurse.

Football team. The players of a football team just like in baseball have their fixed positions. But on football team players play as a team. All run and works toward a common goal. Each one of the players assist the others.

Tennis doubles team. On doubles team, players have primary rather than a tied position. They are supposed to cover their team-mates, adjusting to their teams strengths, weaknesses and the changing demands of the game.

For the past 5 months I feel I have been playing in a baseball team. It is tiring when you are up at bat and totally alone. This realization is further emphasized when I met my former staff yesterday. I remembered how we all used to work. Even on heavy loads we cover each others asses. Checking up on each others sanity. I want to have a football team or even a tennis doubles team! Right now, I do not think it is possible. Before I always pride myself for building a good team..sadly this time either I failed or just that some people are not born as football players.

Ever since I started leading I make sure that my team gets adequate support from me, whether financial or emotional. For them to work productively and efficiently I provide what ever resources they need. I take care of them..But in my environment now..who takes care of me? I have been left in a confusing state. I report to a lot of bosses but none of them is accountable or responsible for me. I have no direction, so many dotted lines going from one person to another. In fact none of them even bothered to realize that for the past 4 months I have been using my personal laptop at work because the one assigned to me got totally busted due to old age. I think it only shows that I am not important to the organization.

Oh well it sucks bigtime! What is the use of ranting? Do something about it! I told myself and so I did.